I often think about the way my life has been in the last few years, and I think about how trite it must be compared to my future. I know this sounds mean, but I'm not trying to beat myself up, or 'talk down' at my current situation. I know that this part of my life is necessary for me to reach the future. Even though I may laugh at myself some day for caring so much about every assignment, or laugh at myself for how much I used to whine about my part time job, these things have undoubtedly changed me, and prepared me to be ready for my future. They've taught me to work hard and never give up, and to be friendly to others no matter what. They've taught me to smile at strangers and say hello to someone who looks like they're feeling down. And I've really learned to value these parts of my life--most of the time!
Believe me, I still have plenty of days where I wake up thinking 'why bother?'... And then, if I'm feeling particularly grouchy, I only focus on the surface of the situation, and think about how little things have changed. Total lie, of course, but when you're feeling tired and worn-out, you can pretty much convince yourself of anything. hah! So yes, I have my days of being a Debbie Downer, but I think everyone does ;)
What I've come to realize as of late though is that everything is relative. Time is so quickly moving. In 6 months, I will be living the future that I've been hoping for. Who knows what it will be like? It could be a nightmare, or it could be everything I've ever dreamed of! And personally, I'm trying my hardest to have is be the second option. I'm putting it out to the universe right now, I will be happy with my life in the future. I will have a job that will provide me with everything that I need in order to live a good life, and I will enjoy doing this job for the most part.
I know this isn't really the best part of my future though. The best part is going to be the life outside of my working world--my family. It's going to be so incredible to wake up someday next to my wonderful husband and have his face be the first thing I see in the morning. It will also be so wonderful to wake up some day to my children tugging at my sheets, and either crying at me or smiling. To be able to have a family of my own will be the greatest thing I could do with my life. It will be far more important than the job I have or the amount of money that I make. It will be more important than the number of purses in my closet, or the number on the scale, not that I won't stop caring about these things, haha! I still want to remain true to myself. Just because I'll someday get married and have children does not mean that I will completely change. I will still be me, and I know some people will argue with this and say that I'll become a completely different person, but to me, that just can't be true. Even though I am vastly a different person from what I was 10 years ago, I wouldn't say that I'm 'completely' different. I still have a passion for fashion, a passion to learn, and most importantly, a passion to love, and that is a passion that I *know* will never die.
So as you can see, the best days are yet to come, my friends. :) Live it up, and remember if you're looking for a purpose, place your hand over your heart. If you feel something beating there, then you do have a purpose. You're alive for a reason. Never give up! Keep on loving like crazy, and don't let those praying knees get lazy! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment