Pink & Sparkly

 

My whole life I’ve been told I wear too much pink. Like it’s a bad thing?? I’ve been told I wear too much makeup, I don’t dress professionally enough, I’m too tall, too fat, too slow, too naive. I’ve been laughed at, picked last for gym, got spat on, and yelled at. I’ve had many small moments that have led up to absolute devastation. My family and I have been left behind by a father who doesn’t care at all, and who also caused me to believe many of these lies for far too long. 

I feel so blessed to be in my thirties now. I know I have a ton of life to live yet (hopefully), but I feel like I’m just now coming to an age where I understand my core nature. I appreciate who I am and where I’ve come from, and that’s not a small thing. I’ve been smacked down a lot in life — literally and figuratively. (Insert the abusive parent stuff here…) I’ve also got to experience a lot of amazing things which has helped to shape me to the person I am. 

I think lately I’ve realized how truly special it is that I am so damn pink and sparkly. I’ve risen above. I’m not perfect, but I live my truth. I’m coming to a point where I don’t really care what other people think anymore. I’m not going to hide my experiences. I’m damn strong because I’ve been through so much. I’ve fought every step of the way. I still stand strong in my pink and sparkles.

I may not look like a pharmacist, or a runner, or a mom, but I look like *me*, and that’s all I can do. I’m the only me there ever will be, and I’m done trying to please others or make them think of me in only a certain way. Despite trying to find confidence in who I know I am, it doesn’t make it easy to hear the comments from others… All the time when I worked in retail pharmacy patients would assume I was a nurse, or that I wasn’t a pharmacist. I’d be spoken down to because I’m a woman. I’d be taken less seriously all because I enjoy wearing lipstick and pink shoes. The same goes for my running journey! Just the other day I had someone make a comment about my body not looking like a body that runs every day… Like, seriously? Runners come in all shapes and sizes! Just because I’m not a size zero doesn’t mean I don’t run. In fact, most days I aim for at least my 10,000 step goal. 

Although it can at times feel frustrating that I don’t fit the molds of what people expect, I can say I’m finally coming to a place where I’m embracing it. I love surprising people! My core person is a little girl who wore hot pink leggings and tutus — I’m still that person! Maybe I don’t “look the part” that society expects (or even demands) — I’m so glad! I will say it is kind of funny though how much it can piss other people off sometimes that I don’t fit these molds! 

The moral of this post is, don’t limit yourself or try to package yourself in some box that someone else designed. Shine as you are — embrace your true colors. Even if your colors are like mine: pink and sparkly, you deserve to feel amazing. You are the only you there ever will be. Embrace that. Live it. Let the pink and sparkles flow through your veins and challenge the world’s view of you in the process. Let your traumas help you grow. Be like the forest that grows taller from the fires. Be like the phoenix that rises from the ashes. Be like that butterfly the caterpillar could only dream of, and go ahead and fly.