From the Rooftops

A rooftop is a place of immersion. From the rooftop, you can look across the horizon; on a rooftop, you're well above your normal standing point, and you can see everything from a different perspective; from a rooftop, you are one with the sky, and yet grounded. The stars are just overhead, and the future surrounds. When you climb to the rooftop, you can just think a little more clearly, and see a little more precisely... I've recently had some rooftop revelations, and I'm more than happy to share....

Have you ever heard of the concept: you get what you put in? I'm finding this statement to be more true than ever.

In recent months, I've come across many people who I consider 'naysayers'. A Naysayer, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is one who 'denies, refuses, opposes, or is skeptical or cynical about something'. Frankly, these are people I tend to avoid, and more than ever I'm ready to break free from the negative and fly towards the positive.

Along with the naysayers, I've also been troubled by those who can 'talk the talk' but who never 'walk the walk'. I like commitment, and I myself am carving it in stone right now, 'do it, or regret it'.

So what does this all have to do rooftop revelations? Good question! Today, I plan to teach you a simple trick; I will warn you though, it takes years to master, and countless times of trial to perfect. I don't consider myself to be the best at it, but I know it works. How? Well, it opens your eyes and allows you to see from that rooftop perspective.

The next time you are faced with a difficult thought, or you are stuck in between knowing the results of something that means a lot to you, you have to shout positive affirmations. Now, I don't mean that you have to physically shout things - that might just be a little too 'cray' for your friends and family. You just have to shout it into your own head.

One particular trial in my life where I truly began to master the art of rooftop shouting was in my weight loss journey. I still look back on old photos, and say, wow.... wow... I see pain in those old photos. I see excuses. I see pain I was bottling in. I had accepted that I was at my best and I had settled for it. It was really a sad time for me because I was stuffing so many emotions in. My anxiety had overrun my life, and I compensated for it with sweets.

The first step was for me to get FED UP. I was tired of feeling sluggish and tired, so I made a promise, and I shouted at myself. Then, as soon as I made changes, I had to keep shouting at myself - 'NO' to the brownie, 'NO' to the second helping, and 'YES' to discovering inner beauty and inner strength. 'YES' to the 8 minute mile, 'YES' to the 10lb dumbbells, and 'YES' to the extra 20 minutes on the treadmill. Although there were so many 'No's' there were soooo many more 'YES's'!

YES is such a wonderful compensation. It's the best word- the gold star you're hoping for- the A+ on your paper- and the affirmation you need to KEEP GOING. The same tactic works in so many other parts of life.

When you feel like you're stuck, even with a simple task and you feel overwhelmed, say YES and make a plan to tackle it - head on. DREAM BIG - there's nothing that can stand in your way.

Let's say you're a new grad and you're feeling overwhelmed with the job search... Believe in YOURSELF - you are the best and most talented person in your industry and you're determined to get the job of your dreams - if you truly SHOUT IT to yourself, you will! You'll nail that interview, and you will get that job, and you will MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Let's say you're even struggling with a day full of chores. Instead of drowning into thinking 'I'll NEVER get this ALL DONE' think 'YES- a CHALLENGE'. Make a plan and GET IT! The day is yours - seize it and SHOUT IT.

It's fun once you discover the power of self affirmation. Yes, it takes years and countless trials to master, but it's so much more fun to live life in the YES - so go ahead and SHOUT IT!

Project Sparkle

Today marks the FIRST day of a journey I'm taking to better myself, and to tune in more to who I am.

I'm ready to make a BIG CHANGE in my life. For too long now I've been stifling the truth and hiding under this mask of happiness. I'm ready to forget the safety net and to do something worthwhile.

Let me take a couple steps backwards. I have a confession to make. I've been extremely unhappy. I've allowed myself to sink to new levels of low self esteem and self worth. I've made some poor decisions lately, and I've turned to all of the wrong places to reignite the joy I once had at the end of my college career. This last year has been painful - a cold, hard reality check. I lost sight of what I wanted for myself and conformed to what society told me to do. Welp, I'm done with that. It's over. That plastic Catheryn plastered with the fake smile and the fake positive attitude is LONG GONE. Now, she's going to be REAL.

REAL HAPPINESS. REAL SMILES. REAL SUCCESS.

First, it starts with a new attitude. No more "I'm fat" comments, no more "I'm dumb" comments, no more fear, and no more negativity. Negativity is BANISHED from my life and brain.

I need to turn these negatives into positives - instead of feeling like I'm not skinny or pretty enough I WILL learn to appreciate my beauty for what it is. I will build my beauty around my ACTIONS not my image.

Instead of feeling like I'm not smart enough or talented enough, I need to take more risks and find more joy in the simple things. Instead of criticizing myself for enjoying an afternoon of just 'being', I need to see it as an opportunity to better myself.

Instead of constantly being afraid of not having enough money, or not being 'successful' enough, I need to branch out and try more new things. I need to volunteer, give back more, and get more involved.

And most importantly, there will be no more negativity. If something makes me unhappy, I will face it head-on and try to actively better that situation or feeling.

Am I ashamed of writing these goals down so the world can see? NO. I'm proud. I feel vindicated and strong. I don't care who judges me or why they are. This is a journey that will take lots of dedication.

June 1st.

I will not have another single alcoholic drink until this day. Have I been abusing alchol? No, not really, but it clouds my mind and does not allow me to move past my fears. Time to 'put down the drink' and stay away from going out to the bar with friends until I get some thinking done. (Yes, this includes wine... insert whimpers here... hah!)

I will also find other working opportunities. I'm hoping to be SERIOUSLY headed in the right direction by this time. The work environment I'm in now has some major negativity issues for me, and I'm done pretending I'm okay with it. Will any workplace be 'perfect'? No, but let's face it. I deserve to be happy.

I will join POSITIVE groups. Bible studies, community plays, and volunteering? SIGN ME UP. I'm really looking to add more purpose to my life.

Seek spiritual guidance. I will become a part of a group that will spiritually inspire me. God has granted me with so many wonderful gifts. I need to find the right group who will celebrate with me.

Do something crazy. Pierce my belly button or try ice skating? I say YES. I enjoy adventure. I need to feed that craving to live on the edge. Maybe these things aren't that shocking to the average person, but I tend to keep my guard MUCH too high. I'm letting go. :)

~ Like I said, I feel proud, vindicated and STRONG. Life is going to go a better direction for me now. God has a plan for me, and it's time I FOLLOWED it.

After all, a diamond is JUST a piece of CHARCOAL that handled stress exceptionally well. :)

Cruising

Sometimes as I drive at night with my windows rolled down, seeing lights and stars, I think of how big the world is, and then I get this incredibly small feeling.

As I look across the stoplight-streaked sky, I see power and the future in the inanimate and learn to appreciate the smell of ozone. The rumble and grumble of motors parallel to me breathe stories of others, just like me, trying to get somewhere.

I get the same small feeling when I run.

Sidewalks turn into stories, and personified homes and vehicles speak.

The oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs is like cool, refreshing mist on my face bringing fragments of history to flow through my pores and veins.

Children's laughter or wind fill my ears with better sound than any produced by man, and the smell of grass winds through my nostrils and through the smile on my face.

When my muscles begin to ache, or I feel my strength start to dwindle, I appreciate my limitations, and take comfort in knowing the warm shower will soothe me, followed by the cool pillow cradling my cheek.

When I wake again, it's a new opportunity to taste reality and realize just how small I am. It's a good kind of small - an appreciative 'small'. A small that allows me to step back and SEE... truly SEE.

It's incredible what you can miss when you're too busy and BIG to experience and enjoy it.

Hope is the window, though ~ the window to truth, perspective, and happiness. Go ahead and open it, and cruise.