Sometimes it's time to turn on music and just get lost. I also like to run, and get lost. We all have our ways of getting lost from reality and its grip. Tonight I got lost in a flood of tears while running. It was surprising, unexpected, and slightly embarrassing. The person on the treadmill next to me probably thought I was seriously 'cray', but I don't really care anymore. I'm at the point where I'm ready to remove this ball and chain that I've been carrying around for quite some time. I want to be free.
In life, there are so many things that we carry with us, and we don't even realize it. Things move into our minds and lives like passing clouds. Sometimes they hang around us for days, and other times they just blow right through. It's hard to predict what these clouds will do. Sometimes they rain, sometimes they snow, sometimes they amuse as they assemble themselves into clever shapes in the sky. What we forget to do, though, is to deal with these clouds.
The biggest cloud in my life is fear. I'll say it right out, I'm afraid (actually terrified) of making mistakes. I'm a total perfectionist and control freak. I hate disappointing people, and I despise feeling like I didn't try my best on something. This creates a lot of anxiety for me, and it's affected my life for far too long. I'm ready to be a little unpredictable now. I'm ready to scribble, to live life a little more colorfully, to sing and scream at the top of my lungs, to be messier, to get LOST in awesome opportunities.
I am going to challenge myself to do one small thing each day that will help me let go a little. Whether if it's intentionally NOT putting my clothes away (gasp), doing my hair BEFORE my makeup, or NOT using a fork. Something crazy, seemingly silly, or even stupid, just to keep myself on my toes. I'm far too controlling of myself, and it's time to be set free. I'm not scared anymore. I have great ideas, and heck, it's about time I stopped limiting myself because I was afraid. I'm powerful. I can make a difference. I can be more than my fears. And, no, I can't take credit for coming up with this idea. Stefan Mumaw, writer of "Caffeine for the Creative Mind" actually suggests it. He challenges all creatives to change one thing in their routines each day to keep fresh ideas rolling in, because let's face it, I'm sure we're all slightly creatures of habit, in one way or another. So, make a map of your day. Heck, Instagram each step of your day if you want. Then scramble the photos, and change your routine. It's kind of fun, and extremely invigorating.
This all being said, I challenge you to think of something that terrifies you, or something that may be affecting the way you live your life. Confront it. Head on. Be strong. Let's all scribble, shout, and get sloppy and maybe a little stupid. Life's too short to control everything, or to be afraid, or to be lazy. It's time to remove the ball and chain.
Things I'm grateful for today:
1) My crazy little bunny who thinks it's a good idea to climb on the very tippy top of my love seat. :) (See, even rabbits know that it's good to try new things!)
2) I'm grateful that I'm really beginning to let my guard down. It's really freeing to say what I want and to not be afraid.
3) The opportunity to cleanse, and breathe, and to get lost
Things I'm positive about:
1) Tomorrow's FRIDAY!
2) I'm positive that soon I'm going to have more creative breakthroughs, and they're gonna be SWEET
3) I'm positive that happier times are coming my way. I feel a strong force coming, and it's cool. :)
Three Goals for Myself for Tomorrow:
1) Lighten up. Mistakes happen. So do good things :)
2) List three things that I LOVE about myself.
3) Remember to tell someone that I love them, and thank them
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