It Takes A Village

Lately I've been thinking a lot about authenticity and how it surrounds our lives, or sometimes how it's absent. Of course, all of us would hope that our lives point toward the authentic, but how can we be sure that it is, and where can we find it? The answer lies in the hands that helped to raise us. 

Community is such an important aspect in our lives. Why, without it, we would not have a proper sense of identity. Who would be our friend, our acquaintance, or our supporters? Community is powerful because it provides the atmosphere where we can bounce inspiration, ideas, and feelings among our peers. It also helps to teach us, improve us, and humble us.  

Now, I know what you may be thinking.. What about the authenticity only found within ourselves? This is a great thought. There is a lot to be said about our internal senses-of-self. There is only so much that community can contribute to our lives. The flip side happens to also be true, though - without community, there is only so much that internal authenticity can contribute to our lives. It's a balance that will take an entire lifetime to master. 

With all of this in mind, some of you may still be wondering who your community is. Again, a great thought, with many varying answers. In my experience, I've found that I belong to a multitude of communities. The communities YOU belong to will be unique to YOU. 

Since I'm long past childhood, I originally shied away from using the old African proverb "It takes a whole village to raise a child", but despite my normal tendency to be metaphorical, I was taking it far too literally. Yes, it's true, as a child I relied heavily on the help of teachers, doctors, friends, and extended relatives to provide me with the knowledge, love, and wisdom that I have. Now that I'm 'grown up', I'm finding that I can identify with many new communities that are as important as the communities that shaped me as a child. 

For example, while I was in college, I knew that I was a strong part, and active member in the DSU community. I felt supported, secure, and challenged each and every day. I thrived in this community and I still dream about continuing my education one day. While I was in college, I became involved in a Step Aerobics class which also opened the doors to a whole new community - the Madison Community Center. Ironic that the name of this building has the word 'community' in it! It definitely helped to shape me, both literally (as in being toned enough to not look frightening in a pair of shorts), and mentally. At the Community Center I felt like I belonged - that I was contributing to something larger than myself - a passion that still completely ignites me, changes my mindset, and provides me with a frightening sense of security and pride.

'Now Catheryn', you might be saying, 'what about all of these online communities?'. YES! I live in them, breathe  in them! I'm thrilled by the ever-evolving digital scene. I can't even name them all in one article, but among my favorites are, of course, the essential social media outlets (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, LinkedIn, Google+, Blogger, and Instagram), and more refined, 'niche' social communities (i.e. Tone It Up, Map My Run, and Netflix), and even more with the newest MOBILE social communities (i.e Poshmark and Words With Friends). These communities afford me TREMENDOUS opportunities to connect with others all across the globe. 

What's even better, is that these communities bring me to one of the newest communities I've become a part of -  and that's the Digital Industry. I've been working as a member in this community for 9 months now, which is pretty incredible. Like any newcomer though, I still sometimes feel a little lost, or unaware of the opportunities and the technology that surrounds me. That's okay though! The newness exhilarates me and provides me with a GREAT challenge. I'm all for meeting with and discussing ideas with members of this community. I WANT to share ideas and gain friendships. I know that there's a LOT of competition, but I'm not in this industry to ruin anyone - I'm here to support others and learn from the experts around me. I know I will eventually begin to feel my established, but right now, I'm enjoying the luxury to learn and explore. Yes, I've made my fair share of mistakes, and I have many more to come - it's all a part of the growing pains. So, I look to my COMMUNITY to teach me, challenge me, and befriend me. 

What communities have shaped your life the most? Which communities are your favorite? Do you feel especially influenced by the digital communities in your life? I WANT TO KNOW, so comment below! :) 

In the Raw

It seems we all have that 'place', that home ground, that central station, where we can park, unload our carts and simply 'be'. These places of spiritual neutrality are sacred, clean, and are a holistic part of our lives. They are the spaces in between the moments we deem the most important, yet these breaks and spaces are what shape us. How can we keep ignoring it? 

It dawned on me today, what if I looked for my sacred 'place'? I might be able to harness my thoughts better and ask myself the important questions I've been avoiding. (It's kind of like those midterms I would have been avoiding exactly a year ago today!) Recognizing that I have truly been avoiding my own thoughts and questions is a great discovery. One that I need to continue to make every day! It's all too easy to turn on the auto pilot mode, and just 'go'. It takes greater attention and perception to be in-tune with one's raw state. 

After reminiscing about some of the other tough decisions I've made in my life, I realized that they all did seem to point to one place. A place where I cannot hide from myself, and the truth surrounds me - the bathroom. Yes. You read correctly. As silly as it may sound, that is probably the place where I feel at the most ease. Whether I'm taking a warm shower, or bubble bath, putting on my makeup, fixing my hair, or simply cleaning, I feel like I am not avoiding myself whenever I'm in there. I'm able to think clearly and without distractions. Plus, I do really enjoy putting on makeup and fixing my hair - so, it's kind of a home-run solution. 

Heck, I was cleaning the bathroom back when I was a sophomore in college when I switched from being pre-med to an English for New Media major! I was also in the bathroom putting on makeup when I realized a toad, 'boyfriend' of mine was not the right dating material. I also was silently whining at my reflection one day when I finally decided to take better care of my health and fitness. Again, this may all sound a little far-fetched, but I truly believe that, that, is my place. 

Why the bathroom? Gosh, if Freud were to step in, he'd make some snarky comment about my "anal rententiveness", or something of that sort. But, I see my choice differently. I see it as a place where I can be completely RAW, completely CATHERYN. I mean, going about my day, I'm still me, but maybe not to my purest and rawest. I mean the bathroom is the place where I can create my face for the day. I can also completely bare myself and be in my most natural state. Metaphorically, I think it allows me to tap back into the days before I was aware of what held me back. The mirror also gives me a reminder that I can't hide from myself - because there I am - staring right back at myself. There's no need to alter anything because that's me, and I understand who I am, even under all of the makeup and hair products. 

So maybe your place is somewhere more glamorous, less 'embarrassing', or more exotic - that's fine! As long as it is YOU through and through that you see staring back at yourself, then that's all that truly matters. We all have a place - I challenge you to find it, and ask yourself what significance or metaphorical value that place holds for you. Then, confront yourself! Sit, or stand, and find out what you must do to ignite the most intricate pieces of your happiness and life. 

Breath of Anticipation

We're all familiar with this moment... The lights are dim, the warm faces of your friends and family encircling you with their eyes bright and their faces illuminated by the soft glow of neon candles melting into the silky, sugary palette of frosting decking the sweet, spongy birthday cake about to be consumed. They're all waiting. The cheerful tune of 'happy birthday' has just been sung, and spirits are high. Anticipation is higher. Thinking with your eyes pinched tightly, and holding in all your hopes in dreams, you inhale and then your eyes burst open along with a forceful exhale to extinguish the candles, and release your dreams into the world, and the year ahead of you.

There's nothing quite like a birthday for a time to examine yourself and think good and hard about what you've accomplished, and what you hope to accomplish within the next year. You also know that it's a time where you get to make a wish, and not just any wish, but a wish that will be added to your life's story. Maybe the wish does not always come true, but it is always answered - perhaps unexpectedly, or in a way that you would not prefer, but it is still an answer.

These moments surround us.. these breaths of anticipation. And they don't necessarily come often, but they're important. They allow us the opportunity to completely give in to our deepest desires, and to put it out to the world without any shame - even if it is in the form of a secret, or a wish. The smoke carries our unsaid words and scatters the hopes into ever nook in our homes, and then disperses into the atmosphere. It's like magic. It's exciting, thrilling, and just plain fun. That's why birthdays, new years, and anniversaries are so meaningful. They're a milestone for us to stop and think and plan for what may lie ahead, while appreciating what we have experienced in the past. They're a moment to be grateful, optimistic, and determined. And although these moments only last a moment, they are the breaths of anticipation. As long as we exhale our hopes and dreams when given these fleeting opportunities, then we can be a part of what has been and what is to come. Come what may, and love it. Life is constantly poetic, and let us never forget it :)

Things I am grateful for today:

1) A wonderful birthday which I was able to celebrate with my loving family and friends. I am so incredibly blessed to have so many people wishing well things for me.

2) The opportunity to meditate, and anticipate what I want to accomplish in the year ahead of me. I know 23 will bring many big changes my way. I will go places, and do so many new things. I have potential, and I'm ready to see it blossom :)

3) My sister and Tyler. My two soul mates. Both know every single thing about me, and love me despite or in spite of those things :)

Things I am positive about:

1) Changes that are to come my way. Honestly, I feel like one of those old people that gets the feeling in their bones before the weather changes. Something wonderful and amazing is about to happen. I know it. I FEEL it :)

2) Love. I have so many loving people, and I am learning to love more too. I'm really beginning to learn to love myself, embrace myself, and live out loud.

3) Charity. I'm about to be given a great opportunity to share my time and talents with those in-need, and there is nothing more rewarding than being the help that someone needs so much.

Three goals for tomorrow:

1) Stay positive, and immerse myself completely into what I do. Live, breathe, and be social.

2) Call and talk to a friend I haven't talked to in awhile :)

3) Take care of some of the cobwebs and clutter that has collected in my brain, and cross some things off on my mental checklists

When the Stars Go Blue

Have you ever heard this song by Tim McGraw or Ryan Adams? It's a beautiful song, really. Whenever I hear it, it takes me to deep place. Normally I'm pretty light, and whimsical, but I have to wonder how many times I've been the woman in this song... 

How many times have I danced like a marionette in her wooden shoes? How many times have I forgotten what truly makes *me* happy, and just gone with what the strings attached to me told me to do? It's easy to do, because that's what feels... safe. 

I know this song also seems to be a man singing how he will care for this girl no matter how much she's compromised herself. I have to wonder, is that 'man' God? Perhaps it could be... and perhaps we should consider it.

I know that spirituality is something I've been struggling with a lot lately. I find it hard to trust sometimes, and to give my life over to someone who isn't 'me'. I've had disappointments in my life, like many of you have, so of course, after you've been burned a few times, it's easy to get discouraged and lose faith. I'm also extremely self-reliant, so it's difficult for me to give up the very little control I do feel I have in my life, but it's so important! Once we give up our 'strings of life' and let God follow us and guide, even when we cannot see Him or understand Him, that's when we can find ultimate happiness.

Now, I'm not trying to claim that I do any of these things full-time. I'm fully aware that it's a commitment that has to be made every day, and I know I've had a lot of star-less days and nights lately, where I really don't feel like there's anything out there, but I know deep down that my feelings aren't true. Yes, I have felt discouraged lately, and a little lost, but I've also felt extremely creative in my professional life, and am starting to gain more confidence in myself. This journey to finding self-acceptance will also have to be a journey to accept God. God created me and knows everything about me, so maybe I should start asking Him a bit more often than I have. I think I should make it a full-time commitment. Maybe I'll find some more answers? Maybe I'll make some new discoveries? Maybe another purpose for my life will be revealed? I'm not really sure, but I'm not going to wait anymore. It's time to let go and let God.

Things I'm grateful for today:

1) The patience, dedication and enthusiasm of my co-workers
2) Running :)
3) Warmer temperatures

Things I'm positive about today:

1) I'm positive that I will awaken my spiritual connections, and learn to love and trust in God more
2) I'm positive about the progress I've been making with my clients at work, as well as the flood of creative ideas I've had lately
3) I'm positive about the level of focus I've had lately. Normally I'm more likely to space out and day-dream, but I've been very disciplined and focused lately, and have been more productive as a result.

Three Goals for Tomorrow:
1) Take 30 minutes to pray and meditate
2) Go to bed earlier.. ;)
3) Staying positive about all of my daily tasks and duties :)

A Little Bit Daring

Every now and then, we are propelled into taking a step outside of our comfort zones. Sometimes it's because we are asked, and other times it is because we take it upon ourselves. Of course, taking that first step (or sometimes leap) of faith is not easy. It can prove to be very difficult and you may even dread it - I know I do from time to time. What we must remember though, is what we may feel like after we take a leap or step of faith, though.

Life is never predictable, and there will be things that will be thrown our ways that will be some of the trickiest, the happiest, or the saddest times of our lives. It's how we react to these situations that shapes us too. Learning to act and react with poise is key - keeping a cool head will help you maintain the proportion of the situation, and not let it get the best of you.

Being a creative, I am asked every day to take a step outside of my comfort zone. Yes, it's frightening, but it's also highly exhilarating! I have the opportunity to do something new every day, and I have been graced with the opportunity to create new ideas every day. It's a real blessing, and a real responsibility!

I am also asking myself again to take a few steps outside of my comfort zone and become even more of an open person. I know I can be quite shy sometimes, so I've been making an effort to increase my social strategies as well! Whether I'm just visiting a bit more in depth with a cashier at Wal-Mart or communicating the status of a project at work, I'm trying to implement a more conversational approach. As a very self-driven person, conversing with others sometimes doesn't get first priority, but I'm going to branch out a bit, and try it. I can still be professional and serious while incorporating a bit more fun. :)

Things I am grateful for:

1) Today's weather... it was GORGEOUS! I'll be running outside again before you know it! :)
2) A GREAT weekend of fun and relaxation, and of course spending time with Tyler! <3
3) That I'm feeling 100% healthy finally!!

Things I am positive about:

1) I'm positive that my creativity has been coming in leaps and bounds lately! It's almost like I can't contain all the ideas and brainstorms I have! It's thrilling!
2) All the wonderful memories that I've been trying to call back lately. It's crazy to think that I graduated almost a year ago already, and that I haven't worked at Pamida in almost a year! I am positive about my progress, and I'm positive about all that is to come!
3) I am positive about finding more time to do some simple things like reading, watching the latest episode of Downton Abbey, or meditating.

Three Goals for tomorrow:

1) Keep plugging away at putting ideas together, and keep giving 110% to all I do while having FUN
2) Remember to do my laundry and take out my garbage (I've been neglecting both of these things for days now! haha)
3) Start putting ideas together for the chair I'm going to create for the South Dakota Ad Federation Chair-ity fundraiser :) 

Removing My Ball and Chain

Sometimes it's time to turn on music and just get lost. I also like to run, and get lost. We all have our ways of getting lost from reality and its grip. Tonight I got lost in a flood of tears while running. It was surprising, unexpected, and slightly embarrassing. The person on the treadmill next to me probably thought I was seriously 'cray', but I don't really care anymore. I'm at the point where I'm ready to remove this ball and chain that I've been carrying around for quite some time. I want to be free.

In life, there are so many things that we carry with us, and we don't even realize it. Things move into our minds and lives like passing clouds. Sometimes they hang around us for days, and other times they just blow right through. It's hard to predict what these clouds will do. Sometimes they rain, sometimes they snow, sometimes they amuse as they assemble themselves into clever shapes in the sky. What we forget to do, though, is to deal with these clouds.

The biggest cloud in my life is fear. I'll say it right out, I'm afraid (actually terrified) of making mistakes. I'm a total perfectionist and control freak. I hate disappointing people, and I despise feeling like I didn't try my best on something. This creates a lot of anxiety for me, and it's affected my life for far too long. I'm ready to be a little unpredictable now. I'm ready to scribble, to live life a little more colorfully, to sing and scream at the top of my lungs, to be messier, to get LOST in awesome opportunities.

I am going to challenge myself to do one small thing each day that will help me let go a little. Whether if it's intentionally NOT putting my clothes away (gasp), doing my hair BEFORE my makeup, or NOT using a fork. Something crazy, seemingly silly, or even stupid, just to keep myself on my toes. I'm far too controlling of myself, and it's time to be set free. I'm not scared anymore. I have great ideas, and heck, it's about time I stopped limiting myself because I was afraid. I'm powerful. I can make a difference. I can be more than my fears. And, no, I can't take credit for coming up with this idea. Stefan Mumaw, writer of "Caffeine for the Creative Mind" actually suggests it. He challenges all creatives to change one thing in their routines each day to keep fresh ideas rolling in, because let's face it, I'm sure we're all slightly creatures of habit, in one way or another. So, make a map of your day. Heck, Instagram each step of your day if you want. Then scramble the photos, and change your routine. It's kind of fun, and extremely invigorating.

This all being said, I challenge you to think of something that terrifies you, or something that may be affecting the way you live your life. Confront it. Head on. Be strong. Let's all scribble, shout, and get sloppy and maybe a little stupid. Life's too short to control everything, or to be afraid, or to be lazy. It's time to remove the ball and chain.

Things I'm grateful for today:

1) My crazy little bunny who thinks it's a good idea to climb on the very tippy top of my love seat. :) (See, even rabbits know that it's good to try new things!)
2) I'm grateful that I'm really beginning to let my guard down. It's really freeing to say what I want and to not be afraid.
3) The opportunity to cleanse, and breathe, and to get lost

Things I'm positive about:

1) Tomorrow's FRIDAY!
2) I'm positive that soon I'm going to have more creative breakthroughs, and they're gonna be SWEET
3) I'm positive that happier times are coming my way. I feel a strong force coming, and it's cool. :)

Three Goals for Myself for Tomorrow:

1) Lighten up. Mistakes happen. So do good things :)
2) List three things that I LOVE about myself.
3) Remember to tell someone that I love them, and thank them

Laws of Attraction

Lately I've been struggling with a slightly magnetic condition. I can't believe I haven't been able to diagnose it until now... It's the law of attraction.

In science, it's been said that opposites attract. In life, I find quite the opposite of this 'opposites rule' to be true. It seems that in life likes attract likes. Let me explain a little...

If we continue to live and breathe negatively, then negativity will keep coming into our lives. If we make an effort to put some positivity back into our thoughts and actions, then we will be blessed with positive results. Now, I'm not saying this is entirely fool-proof, or that it's a new idea; just from casual observation over the years, I really have noticed this to be true. Even in my own life, I can definitely tell you the times where I was the happiest, I was making more of an effort to be positive. In comparison, I can tell you that the times where I have been the unhappiest were the times when I did not make the effort to be positive.

So why on earth would anyone NOT want to make the extra effort to be positive? Well, it's harder than it sounds. This is especially true when your circumstances outweigh your attitude. Like I said, the Law of Attraction is not completely fool-proof, so bad things are going to happen to you no matter how positive you are. Because bad things are in-eminent, it's easy to get burned out. Hence, the 'woe-is-me' syndrome takes over. Once you start to feel sorry for yourself, you're opening the door to negativity.

I have definitely been feeling sorry for myself lately. Either I'm tired of being tired, or I'm sick of being sick, or I'm stressed from being stressed. These negative feelings just feed off of themselves and really begin to break a person down. As a result, I have been feeling more negative lately, and I've been looking for escapes in negative venues (sometimes drowning myself in TV, shutting off my phone, or eating unhealthy things). These things are negative because they don't allow me to feel any better about my situation or myself. Instead of turning to these venues, healthier options would be to go for a run, read a book or do research, talk to a friend, or get crafty. When you open yourself to new ideas, or give yourself a 'blank slate', then you're giving yourself the space for change to happen. If you shut yourself off from the world, and close your mind, then change doesn't have a way to find you. You metaphorically, and sometimes literally, end up drowning in your own negativity. It's kind of amazing once you really think about it.

So instead of feeling sorry for myself for being tired, sick, or the rear-ending my van took yesterday from a 15-year old, I'm going to take these things as bumps in the road, and look for positivity in all of them. As far as being tired, I can say that I've been working hard and I'm proud that I can go to bed every night wiped out from rocking so many things out in one day. For being sick, I can say my immunity will be built up again now, and I probably won't get sick for quite some time now since I'm generally more of a healthy person. As far as the rear-ending, I'm happy I didn't get hurt, and that I didn't cause the accident.

Now, for the things in my life that I want to change. I just need to keep opening myself up, and remembering that when one door closes, there's always a window that'll open. There's always other ways to handle things other than stuffing that piece of chocolate in my mouth, or shutting out my friends and family, or being fed ideas from my TV. I'm ready to get creative. I'm ready to attract change and positivity. Are you?

Things I'm grateful for today:

1) Diet Pepsi
2) Emojis on my iPhone
3) Sunshine (and sunsets) :)

Things I'm positive about today:

1) The new opportunities that I'm opening myself up to
2) The fact that I've completed all the paperwork for my volunteer opportunity at Sanford
3) That I'm beginning to realize the importance of re-prioritizing my life (more on this discussion soon!)

Three obtainable goals for tomorrow:

1) Make plans to meet with friends for some fun
2) Keep building my creative ideas and projects (I have REALLY enjoyed this project so far)
3) Buy a vase of flowers for someone who doesn't expect it- seriously! :)