Once In a Lifetime

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do. 

Once upon a time, I was just a girl with a patchwork heart. I believed that if I wanted something badly enough, it would happen. Little did I know, that sometimes when you do want things badly enough, they will happen - all in God's time. The night where my fairy tale came true was when I walked into a dance full of both familiar faces and faces of strangers. Then, I saw you, and the room --- stopped ----. Slow motion hit, and I felt myself drifting towards your beautiful blue eyes.  

The music seemed to mellow, a spotlight almost seemed to descend from above. The butterflies in my heart soon turned to elephants  I smiled and you smiled back. 

From that spark, grew something amazing, and I am happy to share a recap with you. After you watch my vlog, I urge you to think about the person (or people) in your life that have changed you for good. Then, TELL THEM. Life is so short, and we truly do have limited opportunities to tell others how we feel. Go ahead and be someone else's 'once in a lifetime'.

If you need any further inspiration, I recommend you listen to Landon Austin's original song 'Once in a Lifetime'!

Do You See the Fighter?

Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle...

Whenever I hear or see this coined quote, I can't help but stopping to really think and consider the happenings in the lives of others. Although I am generally not a very self-centered person, I dwell a lot of time in my own head. With that increasing time spent locked into my own mind, my thoughts get clouded and I cannot process that someone else may have thoughts greater than mine at that very moment. I forget to use my peripheral brain to notice. 

I am pretty sure we are all fairly guilty of not using our peripheral brains to notice that another may be upset. 

What is the battle in your life? 

This is most likely a pretty easy question for you to answer. You could probably rattle off a list a mile long, and then add a few 'PS's' at the end. I know I sure could. 

What are the battles your mother is facing? Your father? Sister? Brother? Coworker? Customer? Client? Patient? Friend? 

Some of these you might be able to say vague answers on. Others, you most likely won't have a clue. Trust me, I certainly don't claim to have tabs on what other's concerns are. However, I am trying to use my peripheral brain to be open to the fact that these folks DO have concerns and battles that they are facing. 

My job relies heavily on helping others - as about 99.9% of the jobs out there in the world. My duties include being friendly, helpful, patient, precise, and speedy. My duties do not include fretting over the small things, being short or snotty, or criticizing others. Those actions are only made out of selfishness.

Whatever industry you are in, whether you are a lunch lady, garbage man, doctor, lawyer, teacher or coach, it is your duty to be honest, friendly, helpful, patient, and precise too! We are all fighters - trying our hardest. Yes, it's hard to be faced with the folks that are obviously NOT trying to follow the golden rule, BUT here is the real kicker... Maybe THEY are fighting another completely different battle. Maybe it's cancer or another serious ailment, a lost relative or loved one, serious debt, or maybe they have just lost their job. Whatever the battle, it is our duty to try our best to understand and HELP in the little ways we can. 

In other words, it might be easy to get frustrated, to be short or snotty, or criticize someone else when they are rude or short with us, but generally their actions and attitude have little to do with us or the situation. It's our job to see the FIGHTER in them. 

Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, your actions and calmness will be enough to open their eyes and allow them to see your grace and kindness. It could very well change their day and allow them to experience life through a new perspective. 

So FIGHT to be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle... 

New Beginnings

As a new year opens and 2013 closes, many of us may be thinking that it is time to open a new chapter in our lives. Every year millions of folks all around the world make resolutions to change themselves for the better - whether they are letting something go, or promising to do something more - it is a time of new beginnings for us all.

So what does the phrase 'New Beginnings' mean to you? Well, if nothing's coming to mind, then I urge you to watch this beautiful commercial from Google. Not only does it have a great message, but it is beautiful to watch. 

Like this commercial, our lives are beautiful to watch too. Maybe in the day-to-day we do not notice the small changes taking place in our lives, but they are there. This year I am making it my duty to be more perceptive to change and to appreciate even the smallest of new beginnings. 

For this year, I specifically resolve to drink more water (at least 50 oz every day), run a half marathon (specifically the Brookings Half Marathon in May), read at least one book every month, to let go of my insecurities, anxiety, and OCD tendencies, and to write one blog post every week (even if it's short), and reestablish my YouTube channel. 

I really want to document the year 2014 - so that I can focus on the positive growth in my life. After a somewhat tumultuous 2013, I happily close the door, and look forward to all the new experiences 2014 will bring. 

What are your resolutions for 2014? How do you perceive the phrase 'New Beginnings' in your life? And, how do you plan to notice the everyday new beginnings that you have been given? 

I Am Grateful

Things in my life have definitely improved in the last weeks - my new chapter in my career and professional development have brought me so much joy, and it feels so wonderful to share this abounding joy with everyone much more than I did in the past year. I have found my new 'niche', and even though it may not even be a job that requires a degree, I feel so positive and happy - two things that I thought were void in the working world. It's not your job or title that will ever define you. It is YOU and your attitude that will speak much louder than any letters or stars that may follow your name.

No matter what way my life takes me (even if I am Dr. Catheryn some day), I PROMISE myself that I will remember to be grateful and patient. I thank YOU for making my life truly meaningful, whether you are my best friend, a close acquaintance, or a distant friend, or someone I may not even know very well yet. You give me purpose. You give me motivation. You give me a shoulder and an ear. You give me space to be. You give me hope. You give me heart.

For all this, and so much more I am truly grateful.

xo

From the Rooftops

A rooftop is a place of immersion. From the rooftop, you can look across the horizon; on a rooftop, you're well above your normal standing point, and you can see everything from a different perspective; from a rooftop, you are one with the sky, and yet grounded. The stars are just overhead, and the future surrounds. When you climb to the rooftop, you can just think a little more clearly, and see a little more precisely... I've recently had some rooftop revelations, and I'm more than happy to share....

Have you ever heard of the concept: you get what you put in? I'm finding this statement to be more true than ever.

In recent months, I've come across many people who I consider 'naysayers'. A Naysayer, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is one who 'denies, refuses, opposes, or is skeptical or cynical about something'. Frankly, these are people I tend to avoid, and more than ever I'm ready to break free from the negative and fly towards the positive.

Along with the naysayers, I've also been troubled by those who can 'talk the talk' but who never 'walk the walk'. I like commitment, and I myself am carving it in stone right now, 'do it, or regret it'.

So what does this all have to do rooftop revelations? Good question! Today, I plan to teach you a simple trick; I will warn you though, it takes years to master, and countless times of trial to perfect. I don't consider myself to be the best at it, but I know it works. How? Well, it opens your eyes and allows you to see from that rooftop perspective.

The next time you are faced with a difficult thought, or you are stuck in between knowing the results of something that means a lot to you, you have to shout positive affirmations. Now, I don't mean that you have to physically shout things - that might just be a little too 'cray' for your friends and family. You just have to shout it into your own head.

One particular trial in my life where I truly began to master the art of rooftop shouting was in my weight loss journey. I still look back on old photos, and say, wow.... wow... I see pain in those old photos. I see excuses. I see pain I was bottling in. I had accepted that I was at my best and I had settled for it. It was really a sad time for me because I was stuffing so many emotions in. My anxiety had overrun my life, and I compensated for it with sweets.

The first step was for me to get FED UP. I was tired of feeling sluggish and tired, so I made a promise, and I shouted at myself. Then, as soon as I made changes, I had to keep shouting at myself - 'NO' to the brownie, 'NO' to the second helping, and 'YES' to discovering inner beauty and inner strength. 'YES' to the 8 minute mile, 'YES' to the 10lb dumbbells, and 'YES' to the extra 20 minutes on the treadmill. Although there were so many 'No's' there were soooo many more 'YES's'!

YES is such a wonderful compensation. It's the best word- the gold star you're hoping for- the A+ on your paper- and the affirmation you need to KEEP GOING. The same tactic works in so many other parts of life.

When you feel like you're stuck, even with a simple task and you feel overwhelmed, say YES and make a plan to tackle it - head on. DREAM BIG - there's nothing that can stand in your way.

Let's say you're a new grad and you're feeling overwhelmed with the job search... Believe in YOURSELF - you are the best and most talented person in your industry and you're determined to get the job of your dreams - if you truly SHOUT IT to yourself, you will! You'll nail that interview, and you will get that job, and you will MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Let's say you're even struggling with a day full of chores. Instead of drowning into thinking 'I'll NEVER get this ALL DONE' think 'YES- a CHALLENGE'. Make a plan and GET IT! The day is yours - seize it and SHOUT IT.

It's fun once you discover the power of self affirmation. Yes, it takes years and countless trials to master, but it's so much more fun to live life in the YES - so go ahead and SHOUT IT!

Project Sparkle

Today marks the FIRST day of a journey I'm taking to better myself, and to tune in more to who I am.

I'm ready to make a BIG CHANGE in my life. For too long now I've been stifling the truth and hiding under this mask of happiness. I'm ready to forget the safety net and to do something worthwhile.

Let me take a couple steps backwards. I have a confession to make. I've been extremely unhappy. I've allowed myself to sink to new levels of low self esteem and self worth. I've made some poor decisions lately, and I've turned to all of the wrong places to reignite the joy I once had at the end of my college career. This last year has been painful - a cold, hard reality check. I lost sight of what I wanted for myself and conformed to what society told me to do. Welp, I'm done with that. It's over. That plastic Catheryn plastered with the fake smile and the fake positive attitude is LONG GONE. Now, she's going to be REAL.

REAL HAPPINESS. REAL SMILES. REAL SUCCESS.

First, it starts with a new attitude. No more "I'm fat" comments, no more "I'm dumb" comments, no more fear, and no more negativity. Negativity is BANISHED from my life and brain.

I need to turn these negatives into positives - instead of feeling like I'm not skinny or pretty enough I WILL learn to appreciate my beauty for what it is. I will build my beauty around my ACTIONS not my image.

Instead of feeling like I'm not smart enough or talented enough, I need to take more risks and find more joy in the simple things. Instead of criticizing myself for enjoying an afternoon of just 'being', I need to see it as an opportunity to better myself.

Instead of constantly being afraid of not having enough money, or not being 'successful' enough, I need to branch out and try more new things. I need to volunteer, give back more, and get more involved.

And most importantly, there will be no more negativity. If something makes me unhappy, I will face it head-on and try to actively better that situation or feeling.

Am I ashamed of writing these goals down so the world can see? NO. I'm proud. I feel vindicated and strong. I don't care who judges me or why they are. This is a journey that will take lots of dedication.

June 1st.

I will not have another single alcoholic drink until this day. Have I been abusing alchol? No, not really, but it clouds my mind and does not allow me to move past my fears. Time to 'put down the drink' and stay away from going out to the bar with friends until I get some thinking done. (Yes, this includes wine... insert whimpers here... hah!)

I will also find other working opportunities. I'm hoping to be SERIOUSLY headed in the right direction by this time. The work environment I'm in now has some major negativity issues for me, and I'm done pretending I'm okay with it. Will any workplace be 'perfect'? No, but let's face it. I deserve to be happy.

I will join POSITIVE groups. Bible studies, community plays, and volunteering? SIGN ME UP. I'm really looking to add more purpose to my life.

Seek spiritual guidance. I will become a part of a group that will spiritually inspire me. God has granted me with so many wonderful gifts. I need to find the right group who will celebrate with me.

Do something crazy. Pierce my belly button or try ice skating? I say YES. I enjoy adventure. I need to feed that craving to live on the edge. Maybe these things aren't that shocking to the average person, but I tend to keep my guard MUCH too high. I'm letting go. :)

~ Like I said, I feel proud, vindicated and STRONG. Life is going to go a better direction for me now. God has a plan for me, and it's time I FOLLOWED it.

After all, a diamond is JUST a piece of CHARCOAL that handled stress exceptionally well. :)

Cruising

Sometimes as I drive at night with my windows rolled down, seeing lights and stars, I think of how big the world is, and then I get this incredibly small feeling.

As I look across the stoplight-streaked sky, I see power and the future in the inanimate and learn to appreciate the smell of ozone. The rumble and grumble of motors parallel to me breathe stories of others, just like me, trying to get somewhere.

I get the same small feeling when I run.

Sidewalks turn into stories, and personified homes and vehicles speak.

The oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs is like cool, refreshing mist on my face bringing fragments of history to flow through my pores and veins.

Children's laughter or wind fill my ears with better sound than any produced by man, and the smell of grass winds through my nostrils and through the smile on my face.

When my muscles begin to ache, or I feel my strength start to dwindle, I appreciate my limitations, and take comfort in knowing the warm shower will soothe me, followed by the cool pillow cradling my cheek.

When I wake again, it's a new opportunity to taste reality and realize just how small I am. It's a good kind of small - an appreciative 'small'. A small that allows me to step back and SEE... truly SEE.

It's incredible what you can miss when you're too busy and BIG to experience and enjoy it.

Hope is the window, though ~ the window to truth, perspective, and happiness. Go ahead and open it, and cruise.